Bad Democrat

Aldi sells the most caffeinated coffee I have ever drank in my life. The bags are twice-as-wide, so it’s an industrial feel. And the buzz inside of you is like a dank yellow light grinding inside your chest and arms. I think of a guy with WeatherTech floor liners in a comfortable truck who’s driving to work with a tumbler of it, getting set up for the morning. And I think of a cool mom with giant pictures of the album popping up on her car screen and her pink tumbler she’s hardly drinking.

Why is it three times as caffeinated as normal coffee? I think it’s so you can be reminded of Aldi, and industrial parks, and sturdy plastic shopping carts lined together in the Target parking lot. I don’t know that I want to drink it again, but I want to own it, see the bag every morning, and have it in a tumbler in my car.