Bad Democrat

I had a summer internship in Louisville, Kentucky when I was 19 where we learned about the local food economy in the city and in the state. It was 12 people from my college including myself, and it was heaven to be there. We lived at Bellarmine and we ate good food at the local restaurants on summer nights and drove to work in the mornings through a brick building downtown and went on camping trips to outdoor concerts in far-flung parts of the state.

That’s all ended.

Louisville is the same city it always was. Except it doesn’t feel as good to be there. I’ve circled back several times since that summer–once to live there (I lived there for a year), and other times to see if I should go back (or just passing the time). Each time I loved less and felt less and the weird part was that I was in the exact same places and I wasn’t “over” them, I was muted. I was muted. I don’t know how this can happen, but I’m convinced it’s happening in cities across the country. And I don’t know how to help myself: I love a city and I love America and I’m not okay with this feeling just seeping in.